haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
