nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
