You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
