Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
