I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
