Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
