That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
barbara walters just said penis...
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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