halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
