My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
