Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Randomize
