So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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