it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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