do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize