my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
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