I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
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