He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
