ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize