Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
send nudes
from the living room?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
