Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Randomize
