Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
