none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
