I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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