In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
handjob tips. give me some.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
