You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
