went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
