she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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