We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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