Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Randomize
