can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
