I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
