He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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