How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
