i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
you will always have a special place in my vag
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Randomize
