margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
how drunk are you?
Several
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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