How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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