Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
