Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
