I think I died a long time ago.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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