Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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