I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
