You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
True but thats because hes a fetus.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Randomize
