i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
