So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
After tacos, we're chasing women.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
