1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
It was confusing and full of hummus
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Randomize
