I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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