So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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