is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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