I feel great
I just peed on a car
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize