***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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