if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
