My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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